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20:49 - Very good description of an identifier of someone with low reflective depth. This conversation is so powerful.

Thank you for such a wonderful interview! To respond to that last piece…I indeed feel that the PURPOSE of any kind of therapy or therapeutic practice, should be to help us connect more deeply to our own intuition. And a whole person approach that integrates body, mind, spirit and heart, can more easily allow our intuition to arise naturally inside of us. 🙏✨🙏

That was a great introduction to the topic. I've already bought the book before listening to this and now I'm going to start reading the book.

Excellent topic and the guest was rich with information. It is very important to prepare ahead of time for interviews with guests of this caliber.

I could not follow what you are talking about.

I dont know that estrangement is really the right word for this; yes, practicing on people that are not overtly destroying you constantly (or worse!) is absolutely necessary, to a point! But wasting your life repeating and practicing…when does that ever stop? (Particularly as you know that the person will never change, or has never shown a sign of doing so? ) “Giving up” as you call it - i’d call it saving one’s own life! Leaving a relationship that has no upside is essential and healthy. Say goodbye - take that space for yourself - and dont look back! (Estrangement, as i understand it, implies the possibility of renewal or continuing; an absolutely horrible idea in some situations.) Life is way too short to put up with people who dont seem very alive in the first place. Just my two cents worth…

33:40 issues setting boundaries

This video explains so many freaking “relationships” in my life😡 they never care for what I have to say.

6:35 “Emotionally immature people have a big problem recognizing the subjective experience of other people..They don’t have the imaginative experience of what it must be like for the other person”.

Don’t flog me my parents didn’t set a good example of what a marriage is. Parents like this make it hard too follow the golden rule like how do you expect kids to respect you when you don’t show anything to respect? Pretty bad when a child has to be the mature adult in there parents conflicts

Self reflection is key, hence why know yourself quote

Attachment is everything.

One of my subordinates is like that. Extremely frustrating... I'm trying to learn how to deal with this person. Honestly I don't want to have any contact with this person...😢 I know some who have autistic tendency but this subordinate is different from that. Rather closer to narcissist

My ex husband is a malignant narcissist. Never ever communicated with me during our 25 yr marriage. Heck, he didn't like talking much either. He would throw these 'surprise' birthday parties for me which were a standing joke in my family. When he threw himself this huge 50th birthday at which I was a guest like everyone else, he said to me, if I'd gotten you involved in the planning, it would have taken 6 months to execute it. Thats the kind of emotionally immature person that he was. He made me feel like an annoying mosquito and in time I quit buzzing, gave up on the relationship. But I stayed a long while later expecting thst he would change, would self reflect on the danage he was doing to the relationship. But instead he just moved on with new supply after trying to get me back into the box of supplies 😢

Traditions became traditions for a reason.

❤💯👏👏

I am reading the book now. Have been a yoga teacher 14 years and now am a massage therapist. I also have a BA in social work, and let me tell you, this is the missing link for me. And one reason yoga never really healed me after all these years…without this information I am just bringing my NS to the mat and it only changes a little bit for a short amount of time. I can’t believe how much trauma caused me to mask and create a normal with coping, but the NS always taking the brunt of it.

Thank you so much for this research and interview. ❤

This conversation is a real glimmer in my day! 🌟Beautiful, heart-based, interesting and engaging. Now heading off to Amazon to get the book. Thank you so much! 🙏💖

My mother....

Thank you ❤🙏 😊

I'm very glad that despite the emotional neglect, I never once thought it had anything to do with me. I don't seem to come across others that feel that way and I don't hear that perspective talked about either. I'd be curious to explore that.

Hard to walk away when it is your own mother :(

"they know everything already" - but the more I listen, the clearer it appears to me that this is just a trauma response as well! They cannot afford to listen, they cannot afford to delve into your opinions or even less so into your or their own emotions, because this is all so extremely dangerous to them. can you see the hurt and extreme vulnerability behind that facade of control? They are not just immature, they learned to repress their feelings very early on. It all seems like an endless intergenerational cycle of trauma to me, the victims becoming the later perpetrators. I am a child psychologist, and the poorest and loneliest souls on earth are children on their paths to becoming narcissists. Often, I cannot even reach them emotional despite them being so young. It is so sad.

13:41

Why not use the term narcissism? Emotionally immature adults are narcissistic. I feel like Dr. Lindsey is trying hard not to use the word. She says they can change. Have you met a self reflective emotionally immature adult? That’s what I’d like to know. I don’t think so. What I learned is how to deal with narcissistic people in your lives. Set boundaries and take breaks from them. Creating spaces for yourself is not enough sometimes. Sometimes you have to walk away completely. You have to leave.

I needed this today. I kept shouting, yes!! This is what happens to me!! Thank you for crystallizing this confounding behavior!

god, it was like she had lived her entire life in the presence of my dad. EVERY SINGLE characteristic she described matched his emotionally imature personality

16:48 we find out later that Betty is also unstable and experienced trauma of her own.

Surely these are narcissistic traits......

I needed to hear this today. Thank you❣️🙏

There are emotionally immature people who do wish for deep emotional connection and intimacy, but they don't know how to stand down from the Need to Be Right. They make little performances of self-reflection and then want to be let off the hook. They want to talk a lot about feelings and the relationship all right, but the way they do it is to announce their feelings and assert their righteous victimhood. To them, requiring you to manage their emotions *is* the "connection" and "intimacy" and "being known" that they crave. And to them, "knowing" you means getting a lot of engagement and sharing from you that serves to reassure them. And if they absorb some kind of ideology of identifying with an oppressed group... forget about it.

There seems to be an overlap with emotionally immature people and BPD. The cause seems to always stem from childhood stuff.

When we are talking about emotionaly immature people, we are talking about narcissists, right?

2024 20 1:00 Listen to on the the 30

Lunacy. This is lunacy. They don’t learn. Where did you do your studies? In oblivion. Sorry, but you are a charlatan, or completely ignorant at best. Not being rude. These words exist for a reason. I say all this, because I want people to get better, not worse. I explain below. You can’t have a relationship with aka narcissist. This video explains the situation well, BUT completely completely concludes wrong. It’s a lie. You can’t tell a narcissist anything lady. You are setting up people for fights and domestic abuse and complete crazymaking. I even see the interviewer at the end be taking back by you suggesting to set boundaries as the technique that will solve all this. WOW, and that is exactly what is she saying. Stay in a relationship with the narcissist and keep trying to set boundaries??? They will hurt you and manipulate you always. She is beyond wrong. Even if they do change, it will only be when they feel you are destroyed. Come on. Why do you think we even needed this video???? Cuz they don’t change. Make this video again and change the keep trying part. Walk away. They are compulsive and there isn’t anything you can do to change it. You will only be a shadow of yourself if you stay with them if you are lucky and complete depression and drug abuse doesn’t take you out, or you will take on the narcs traits or become a doormat. Even 2 year olds grow up. Parents would go batshit crazy if kids stayed at 2 forever. That is what a narc is. This lady just wants you to have problems and go read her book and keep you in therapy forever, or she is ignorant of the truth. Wrong conclusion. Walk away. if they can change, won’t the walking away change them if they can change? Life is hard in many respects. Having to disconnect is one of those hard things. Sam. Vaknin is really the only one willing to say the truth. All these self styled experts give you false hope narcissists can change. They can’t. They didn’t develop a proper ego. It’s impossible. This lady needs to revise her book and spiel. I don’t care how lovely you come off, as you are wrong and misleading people.

Men do not like using their brains to think about or understand how they feel

It's like listening to a podcast about my father.

i’d like to hear discussion of parents with such weak sense of self they use their children’s emotions and take them as theirs rather than relating to them and helping them understand the parent pushes their feelings on the child or feels their feelings through like having their kid have to process all the grief they won’t feel

she is just so on point never heard anyone talk about these things so well

Associating someone’s momentary lapse of seeming emotional immaturity doesn’t necessitate that being an innate quality of character

Can an emotionally immature person be uninterested in discussing the deeper parts of another person, but still interested in discussing those thing about themselves? A lot. Like a lot, a lot?

I’ve long thought of my shame as something a particular abuser poisoned my brain with, and felt gross about having it. It’s interesting to think of it as a useful survival tool for me, instead of something that only benefitted others.

They are Nightmares-- and very damaging to the mental and physical health of others. The instant you recognize any of these disrespectful signs in a persons personality - even once -- RUN

Through listening to three podcast with Dr. Gibson I've been enlightened as to why I've chosen the men that I chose. They all were emotionally immature, most very much but successful in all other areas and I now understand that my mother is the culprit of my lifelong ache to be heard, to feel important to feel worthy of love and to feel I'm enough. She has always been childish though I didn't realize how much until we lost dad. Coupled with the hard core religion she subjected me to its a wonder I'm able to function. I realized the man I am in love with is deeply wounded and very immature emotionally, so much so it caused us to split. Im just so floored now having the ability to understand why I am this way and that I'm not the broken one.

My birth mother is narcissistic and has delusional disorder, I prayed for so many years of my life that God would fix her, he hasn't..... I went no/low contact a few year ago. I'm deeply disheartened that I will never have the type of mother my heart yearns for, BUT I found MYSELF, and for that I'm beyond grateful💯💯💯

very informative

15:53 32:15

I’m just trying to find some friends that prioritize themselves and cherish female bonding. Older Sister figure, younger sister figure I even like hanging with people 20 years older or younger. Everyone has something to teach us. I just can’t get anyone to have consistency or show up let alone conversation or interaction. Many friends are depressed and locked in as well or their family doesn’t want them to have close friends. Everyone is “too busy”. It’s a sad state of affairs. I am really just running into people that prefer to fist bump and be on their way. I keep trying. The interaction here gives me hope. Thank you for your hope.

You don’t HAVE to do anything. You can just leave them where they had you fucked up.